Lawyer jokes Jokes Funny Lawyer jokes Jokes
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There are 58 Lawyer jokes Jokes in this category.
Q Why is it that many lawyers from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q If you see a lawyer on from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.
How can I ever thank you gushed from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman," lawyer replied, "Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that easy question."
"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman," lawyer replied, "Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that easy question."
A judge in a small city was from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have the y got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have the y got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
At a convention of biological scientists one from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for four very good reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, third there are some things even a rat won't do, and fourth sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results to human beings."
At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another: "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for four very good reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, third there are some things even a rat won't do, and fourth sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results to human beings."
A Frenchman an Englishman an American man from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...
Where is the best place to hide from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.
Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.
What kind of clothes do lawyers wearLawsuits from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.
Why didnt Cupid shoot his arrow at from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!
Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart? Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. "Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he came to. "You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere."
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. "Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he came to. "You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere."
Why dont lawyers enjoy playing golfBecause its from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.
Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.
What do lawyers do after they dieThey from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.
What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.
Lawyer Now that you have been acquitted from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?" Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."
Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?" Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."
Lawyer Let me give you my honest from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."
Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."
How many lawyers does it take to from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.
How can you tell a lawyer is from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
Youre trapped in a room with a from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Why is it that New Jersey got from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice.
Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice.
Why is it that if you give from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is "dog." The second is "snake." And under snake, the encyclopedia says "See Lawyer."
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is "dog." The second is "snake." And under snake, the encyclopedia says "See Lawyer."
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer from Flashcomment Lawyer jokes Jokes
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
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