Hunting jokes Jokes Funny Hunting jokes Jokes

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A couple of hunters from Prague are from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly. The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc. Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that's closest to them. "No, not that one," shouts the surviving hunter, "That's the female." "The Czech is in the male."

A young reporter went to a retirement from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself." The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same." The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"

What does the lion say to his from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ? 'Let us prey.'

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass."

Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."

Did you hear about the bear hunter from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Did you hear about the bear hunter? Well, he was out hunting for bears one day, and soon came across a large, trophy sized bear. He raised his rifle and took careful aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the bear turned and began to speak to him! "Isn't it better to talk than to shoot? What do you want? Let's negotiate the matter," said the bear. Lowering his rifle in shock, the hunter thought a second, and then replied, "I want a fur coat."

Whats the easiest way for a Gorilla from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What's the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money? Collect unemployment insurance!

The Wednesdaynight church service coincided with the from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer." One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

Whats the difference between a hunter and from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

What do you get if you cross from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!

What is the best way to hunt from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What is the best way to hunt bear? With your clothes off

Two fathers and two sons went duck from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come? The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.

What did the turkey say to the from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack! Quack! Quack!"

Dick and Bob were on a hunting from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!' 'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.

Mike and Pat went hunting Mike saw from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot. 'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered. 'The rifle is not loaded.' 'I can't wait,' Mike shouted back. 'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'

What is the best way to hunt from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
What is the best way to hunt bear ? With your clothes off.

A biggame hunter came across a dinosaur from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
A big-game hunter came across a dinosaur in the middle of the jungle and stared at it surprise."You're extinct," he said. The dinosaur was hard of hearing."What was that you said?" The hunter shouted at the top of his voice."You are extinct." The dinosaur looked a little nonplused. "So would you if you'd been dead for six milion years."

A group of hunters fully equipped with from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
A group of hunters fully equipped with rifles, ammo and camping supplies, came upon a young boy armed only with a slingshot. "What are you hunting for?" asked an older hunter. "I don't know. I ain't seen it yet," said the boy.

An avid duck hunter was in the from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

A Cowboy was going deer hunting His from Flashcomment Hunting jokes Jokes
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself.. Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on.. The guy was telling her, Ma'mm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!